CHAPTER 35

PREVIOUS:

Fahad: u mean the world to me..

i would never imagine myself with someone else, i knew i found my missing piece the day i saw you

If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.

i can't explain"""""""""""""""""""

and the words started to vanish, i could see lips moving but nothing to hear..

i mean am i in a dream? i need to wake up.

Unexpectedly i found myself weeping, i couldn't believe what i heard and saw..

and i could hear again.. 

fahad's voice calling: nayfaa la76'a!!!

_____________________________________________

I simply gave him my back and left without saying a single word.

I mean, how would u feel if the one who mattered the most to you betrayed you? and with who? one of your best friends!

At that moment, i gave up on everything..  i just hated everything for a second.

Tears filled my eyes as fahda showed up with a terrified look.

Fahda: hww nayfa esh feek? lesh btrj3en bdree?

Me: fahda sorry but i'm not in the mood to talk -while looking at the ground trying to hold back my tears-

Fahda: nayfa are u tearing? please e7kii ur scaring me!

Me: fahda what part of i don't want to talk don't you understand!!!

 5laa9 ru7i l,fahad w felwa yguloonlik

i walked to the hyde park benches the place i refer to every time i want a piece of mind, but not that time, it was a war. i kept on walking as fast as i could. 

I just wanted to lean down on the smooth benches and rest my head out, a piece of me dies every time i remember the words

u mean the world to me..

i would never imagine myself with someone else, i knew i found my missing piece the day i saw you

If I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you.

i finally reached the benches, i sat there watching the blue lake, green trees, and shiny sun..

well, i used to see them like that but not anymore.. 

i was not overreacting it was just miserable..

It's a achy feeling inside my chest
It's like I'm going into cardiac arrest..

why is this happening to me?

why do things change to the worst in the end?

is this the end?

why did they do this?

was it all just lies and games?

who knows about this?

did i hear the right words?

..................................

and that was me for a whole, heavy hour.. questioning.

: are you ok young lady?

-i looked up to find a pretty old woman-

Me: umm yes i'm fine, thank you for asking

: u don't seem fine at all

-she handed me a piece of tissue-

Me: thank you so much -sniffing-

: i'm Elizabeth, wait u look familiar i know i saw you once

Me: oh, really? i don't really remember..

Elizabeth: now i know, u were the hospital elevator girl as she giggled

Me: -.-

Elizabeth: tell me, what's wrong?

Well, i always wanted the chance to talk to someone who won't judge when i feel depressed..

and i told her everything.

Elizabeth: i'm really sorry to hear this neyfa

Me: it's nayfa, -as i chuckled-

Elizabeth: your life won't stop, it simple means you deserve better.

If he really loved you he won't just betray you, cheating is a "choice" not a "mistake" after all..

-with her heavy british accent-

let me tell you this.. my very own husband cheated on me.. after 6 years of marriage

he left me when he didn't know he was gonna be called ''dad''

and here i am with my very own son living my life.. i wouldn't stop my life for someone who wouldn't even care..

I deserved better and got someone better, my husband now.

Me: but.. i know i'll never find better -as i teared-

Elizabeth: i used to say the same thing, but i found him even after years i did..

Me: and where did you guys meet?

Elizabeth: in the hospital

Me: i'm really sorry for this but -and i cracked up laughing-

Elizabeth: -she hit my shoulders playfully-

as she waved for someone coming her way.

this is my son, John

Me: oh hey

she went to answer a phone call as John played with his mobile, he then asked me about his mother and we laughed and that was when i saw fahad's face coming -.-

Fahad: nayfaa gumee b7akeek

Me: John ur mother is really cute, she told me about the hospital story

-madree esh d5al bs i wanna see fahad's reaction- 

Fahad: a7akeek tara, btgumeen wla kef?

Me: mara7 agum.

Fahad: tra bkb el,juice 3la sh3rk 

Me: intt lazm tnrfznii, y3nee shen w guwat 3en jay t7akeeni b3d ent w 4al wjh?

Fahad: shufee e4a ma gmtii bkb

Me: uffff, n3m 5eer?

Fahad: emshii 

Me: e5l9

Fahad: what did u just see?

Me: 5laa9 gul elli 3ndk bser3a!!

Fahad: laa y3nii entii mn jdk i'll choose someone 3'erk?

Me: fahad u meant the world to me, y3nee tara mu sahlaa faj2a ashufik talking to my best friend w muu ay klam b3d

-then ofcourse i teared, i just can't hold them back-

Fahad: he wiped my tears then hugged me really tight 

look at me. "he said"

i'll never ever replace you, you're everything i see.

Me: -the words make me forget why i was even tearing-

bs-s i did hear it -while sniffing-

Fahad: you heard it, yes.

 But u heared it in a completely wrong way..

lmaa nseti w 6l3ti m3 fahda i planned on going out with u w glt l,aziz bs u forgot and on that day i spent the whole night thinking on words to tell u but i didn't find the perfect words so i took the chance to talk and ask felwa for help and pretend she's you to judge the words they should flow easily bss lma ashuf wjhk ya zgg ansa elkalam -.-

ha4a elli 9aar.

and u know what i couldn't do it without imagining felwa's face as yours..                                                                                                                                                                                  

Me: uff 5awaftnii 

Fahad: yazeen elli y3'arun

Me: -i blushed- yallah abii arja3 

Fahad: laa let's have a walk

Me: atleast i change, shuf esh labsa shorts w a cotton top

Fahad: take my sweater, w don't wear shorts next time it's still not summer -.-

Me: -i looked funny, it was really big but still very cozy-

we had a beautiful walk, the sunset was just amazing

it's really funny how a single person can make u see the light and colors..